Roommates get catty in a house divided

That earth shaking noise you’ve heard lately on campus may not be the train.  Listen closely and see if it’s coming from female on-campus housing.

Yes, it’s that time of year again. Friendships will be ending and the awkward last months of the semester are beginning. 

Housing selection has notoriously caused problems between many, mostly female, students. Roommates turn on roommates as they make decisions to move in with different people for the next year. 

Why does the process cause so many problems?

The source is usually the oh-so-fragile female psyche which can be so easily damaged by the mere idea of gossip or a friend spreading rumors in secret. The typical woman is a trusting, sweet and innocent creature. 

That is, until she is wronged. Then it’s time to watch out. 

The classic situation happens each year when housing intent forms are delivered to dorms and apartments. Some roommates assume their housing condition will stay the same, while others contemplate the conversation in which they expose their hidden agenda: the (gasp) roommate switch.

At this point, there is plenty of crying, a little name-calling, a phone call home and the beginning of a desperate search for someone tolerable who is also homeless for the coming semester. 

To some, this situation can turn out worse than a bad break up. 

Friends stop talking for days, weeks, months or longer and begin the domino effect of nasty rumors that spread quickly through the campus. Young women who are usually put-together and proper resort to hair-pulling and hissing as they take out their anger toward the roommate they just thought they could trust. 

On the day of housing selection, lines of competitive students are formed on one side of a black curtain and they wait to see if the apartment or dorm they crave is still unoccupied on the other side. Although the dreaded “red tag” is now outdated and females can no-longer knowingly rip roommates from their desired home, the atmosphere of the process is stiff and humid, reeking of crushed friendships and angry snarls.

So what is the solution to this housing dilemma? What can we possibly do to mend the broken relationships that result from roommates not informing each other of their new living intentions?

In one word, nothing.

Women are inherently emotional. It’s how we were made and, well, it’s been a remarkable form of entertainment since the beginning of time. Females will never be able to take the life-altering news of an unexpected roommate change with dignity or maturity. It’s just out of the question.

So women will be women, and the housing process, among about a million other things, will always be a cause of problems between female friends, acquaintances and even strangers. 

Since the housing process is now over, the quaking of the ground has probably stopped and only quiet whispers of “I just can’t believe she did that to me” can be heard if you listen hard around dorms and apartments. 

For the most part, the entertainment of pure silliness and dramatic behavior is over until next year. 

Since no rare mutation of the female soul will likely take place, the excitement will almost surely continue. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be a good show.